Me, You, FOREVER, I do....

I have been trying and trying to think of a new blog name.  Bart's Battle doesn't seem to fit anymore. . . While much of this site will be dedicated to my memories of Bart, I need it to be a little more specific to where we are at now.

Me, You, FOREVER, I do. . .  is something I used to tease Bart about years ago. We dated for quite some time and I always used to say this all the time in hopes he would catch on and ask me to marry him. Well, I am not sure it worked - but it is something we would say to each other often through out our marriage, symbolically. It was our way of saying, "We are in this together, FOREVER."

Let me introduce myself quickly to new readers out there. My name is Marcie and currently I am 29 with two baby boys the oldest is 3 and youngest is 18 months. My longtime friend and sweetheart Bart passed away at the end of August at home, from complications from a rare brain cancer (that was only in his spinal cord) called an Anaplastic Ependymoma. You can read a little more about his journey this last year, HERE. We were married just 11 days shy of 4 years.  Most of our marriage he had battled this awful disease. But fought it so valiantly and with such dignity. I don't consider his battle lost, but that he was called to another battlefront. One a little nicer and A LOT less painful.

Bart and I were married for time and all eternity on September 10th, 2011. In the LDS faith we believe that Families are Forever when we live worthily and are married (or sealed) to our spouses in the Holy Temple. That bond will remain forever, even after one dies.

Since Bart's passing, my testimony of eternal families have been strengthened.  I know that this life is NOT the end. I feel Bart's presence and love daily. I feel him helping me raise my little ones still.  I am currently moving to a new home and feel his hand in the decisions I am making. Our marriage is of divine nature. I know the Lord is helping me and Bart still have this connection. I truly believe that we are in this together. All of us.

Not having Bart here physically has really hit me this past couple weeks. I want him here so badly. I want him to hold my hand, to lay by me, heck I want him here to even argue with me! But, I know this part of his mission is over and he is needed elsewhere.  Bart was always so busy. He never had a lull in his day. His mind was always thinking of the next thing to get done and improve. He is a valuable asset in the Spirit World I am sure!

Our church, like the church of old, has a Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Just as Christ had his apostles when he walked upon the Earth. They travel the world to aid in bringing the gospel to all and work directly under our Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. They are called of God and devote their lives to the Gospel and will spend the rest of their lives doing so. We just lost 3 apostles this year due to their passing on from old age. Three new apostles were named yesterday and there was a beautiful press conference held afterwards.  Something profound came to my mind as I listened to each sweet man express his gratitude to his Heavenly Father and to his loving wife for their support. Here is a post I shared with my new "widow/widower friends" on facebook.

 

I truly believe this to be true. Bart and I have had many conversations on how our lives do not end here. They go on. Our bodies are amazingly wonderful vessels that are necessary to refine our Spirits in God's plan.

Now, I had one sweet sister reply to my message stating that she felt this to be true as well, however she asked me to think of it in the way that my husband is supporting me in MY new calling as well.  I believe being a wife and a mother is divine. They are callings from God. And so shall be my new calling. Widow. It is such a weird word, but it is an amazing responsibility.

Dear readers, I want you to know that what I believe is true.  I believe with all my heart that I will be with my husband again. My boys will be with their Daddy and while on this earth, we still can have a relationship with him if we but remain faithful and have good standing with the Lord. I know by doing so, the veil is even thinner than it already is.  I know God never leaves us, I feel his influence on my heart and my life daily. I am so grateful for conference weekend. It has been such an enlightening weekend. I hope you all take a minute to hear the Word of the Lord this weekend and take it into your daily lives.

Much love,